Jesus Loves the Little Children....
Monday was an everlasting day, in which I could almost hear the sound of my brain cells plinkering off the edge of my cerebrum one at a time (and keep in mind, there are precious few of them remaining at this point). My husband was detained at work, leaving me as the solo act for dinner and bedtime duty. In our house, those two events are akin to what most know as 'dinner and dessert'. One directly follows the other. Bing. Bang. Boom.
So there we sat around the dinner table, me and my three pint-sized dinner fellows.
We made simple conversation over the 'breakfast for dinner' meal I had so thoughtfully planned out and prepared (ahem), while the "Sunday School Songs for Tots" CD given to them by their great-grandma provided lively dinner music in the background.
The old and familiar standard "Jesus Loves the Little Children" came on, which includes the lyrics "Red and Yellow, Black and White, they are precious in His sight."
No, certainly not what one might call politically correct lyrics,
but they convey a bigger message that is good.
For reasons unbeknownst to me, except that perhaps i was feeling guilty for letting him watch Iron Giant (twice) that day, I decided to delve into deeper conversation with my nearly-infant dinner companions.
"Did you know there are people with different color skin than we have?"
My little guy nodded. I'm not sure how he knows that, except that he might see it on TV. Since no one has responded to my advertisement hanging at the Post Office requesting 'racially diverse moms and children who want to hang out with a large white family who stay home all the time' to call, the children at this point have limited exposure to those who do not look exactly like us.
(I want this to change. Seriously, i do.)
The details are a blur to me at this time of night as I write, but at some point during our dinner discussion, I found myself arguing with my 3 year old:
"No, honey, you really are not".
"Yes, mom! I AM black. See???
(as he's pinching the Casper-like skin on his skinny little arm to show me)
The diversity discussion had hit a wall.
And I was too tired to forge away around it.
And I was too tired to forge away around it.
*Please, please, PLEASE know that this term was not used a derogatory way. He's 3 years old. "African American" was more than I could find a way to explain. And the joy of being 3, is that you do not see skin color in any way other than that it is simply a different color. That is all there is to it. Oh that our eyes could be as pure as that of little children!
We've gone back to keeping dinner topics a little simpler. My 2 and 3 year old have caught on to a conversation my husband and I would have at the end of the day and now they ask us "What was your favorite part (of the day)??". Had I been asked that very question late Monday night as I was falling wearily into bed, I would have responded with:
The tiny voices I love singing that Jesus loves ALL the children of the world...
And having little people in my house who are colorblind.
And having little people in my house who are colorblind.
Comments
some of those things have already changed, and some of those things are still in process....
My kids have known and talked about differences in race and skin color from the time thy were very little(not by prompting from me, but b/c when you put my youngest next to my other kids, it is VERY apparent that their skin is different)....
While the conversations that we have in our house about race and all that it means are not easy to have(especially with preschoolers :) I have come to believe that they are vital, not only to my child who is not white, but to my other kids and truly, to me.
Sorry to hi-jack your comments, this is just a topic that is (obviously) near and dear to my heart. As a momma that is raising a child of color, I know that I have an added responsibility before the Lord to teach/train/expose my kids to the truth about racism/race issues because I cannot say that I didn't know, when I have a beautiful brown face looking back at me every single day!
I make a LOT of mistakes and bumble my way through, but boy do I try, and get as many resources and teaching tools as I can...
(once again, sorry for the hi-jack)
If you weren't a wonderful SAHM, you'd be writing a column for someone which wouldn't be half as valuable as what you're doing. This way we all get to enjoy your column and see your good works. I laughed and laughed at your 'ad'.
We lived in Dallas Texas when my kids were born which is a very diverse place and we had many hispanic neighbors. When my Emily went to kindergarten she came home day after day telling me about her new friend. Since her class was so diverse, I chanced to ask her what her friend was like. "She has long hair," she said. I asked if she was a white, brown or black girl. Emily said, "she's peach".
Every heard a song about that?
Debbie:)
I LOVED reading your heart! And I must admit, when hearing of your family dyamic I was a tad bit jealous. I am envious (in a non-coveting way) of the way in which ALL of your children are growing up without even KNOWING what others see as a difference. I hope and pray you did not find my post the least bit offensive, because I am serious about wanting my children to 'live' their lives with a loving awareness of the beautiful variety of people and even cultures that have varying hues from ours. I would LOVE to meet you children some day. This is quite obvious: You are a remarkable mom. Thank you for sharing, Jena!!! I can and want to learn from you.
OH MY WORD!!!
I felt like I totally heard your heart...and did not hear anything offensive in the least...
which is why I responded the way I did...
When my eyes were first "opened" to all of the dynamics and issues that are involved not only with race/diversity issues in our country, I had a bit of a whiplash effect and felt like I was on a RAMPAGE to inform all of my white friends what I had learned....
I hurt people and was generally NOT LOVING in that process and have been chastised by the Holy Spirit(and loving friends) in the process.... and really challenged that when I speak the truth IN LOVE people can receive/hear it a whole lot better than when I speak the truth in judgement....
All that to say, God has dealt with me in my pride of "getting it" and really helped me to only "speak" when I feel His go ahead and prompting(like I did here on your blog), and where I really sense an opening and genuine desire to see God's heart in this area(which I obviously did here :).
Like in all areas of my life, I REALLY need the Holy Spirit's guidance to help me to only speak when directed :)
One of the biggest things that I have learned in this process of learning about race/diversity/ and how my every day life affects mmy child and other people of color in my life, is HUMILITY. If I have not lived it, I probably don't have anything to say...(that should probably be a motto for life in general, huh?)
thanks, Jeane' for letting me talk, if you ever want more resources on this issue, I would be happy to email you( I won't take up ALL your comment space with my blather)
jnicolemiller@hotmail.com
Keep up the good work...you have your hands full of 4 beautiful blessings from God!
Have a great day! Connie
Thanks for your comments...and, yes, I hear you - my floor hasn't seen a good mopping in WAY too long. Which is probably why I'm not completely happy with the WetJet...I think i have to get off the months of grime first, right? At this rate I'll go through every refill in no time and only have chunked off the first few layers!
:)