My Fair (Forgetful) Lady

"Why can't a woman....

....be more like a man?"

Rex Harrison's condescending voice has sung these words in my head during various moments during the past days. ("My Fair Lady" is in the upper sphere of my favorite movies of all time list). It is not as if I have been surprised with anything new. However, the tense filled moments on Thursday afternoon whilst on the telephone with Cynthia and the somber mood that held at full steam the rest of that evening and the next was a reminder, that indeed...we are different.

Make that Different, with a capital D.

Before I go on, let me say that I am in a marital relationship with a man I respect and love more than words can convey. It is important to me that I share with you that I do not take him, or our relationship for granted. Just like when I was experiencing multiple pregnancy losses, I found it hard to not be exasperated at the woman who complained about the normal aches, pains and inconveniences of pregnancy. "She doesn't know what she has!". I know what a gift I have, and I will always protect it and cherish it with my life. Like everything else that is precious on this earth, we are not perfect...and sometimes sharing in our imperfections can lead to a little lessening of the load and realizing "I'm not alone in this!".

I think "The Mishap" was more a difference in personality than the male versus female thing.

In fact, I'm sure of it.

I married my opposite.

My husband with his phlegmatic/melancholy temperament is thoughtful, loyal, sensitive, one-on-one, stubborn, detail oriented, slow to speak, a lover of 'sequences' and a perfectionist in his own way (one might wonder how, with so many piles of little papers, post-it notes, business cards and paper clips...but somehow the system makes perfect sense to him, and I completely send it into helter skelter mode when I throw it all in a basket).

He chose to marry this mixed bag of Sanguine/Choleric temperaments-the attention loving, easily distracted, lover of all that is fun and fluffy, detail DISoriented, take-charge (I'll say it: control freak), big picture visionary, way too quick to spew forth words before they even formed a thought in the head, charge full steam ahead me.

On Thursday he worked from home. He kindly volunteered to pack up the three oldest little ones to go pick up the 15 year old son from school. I gave him a full kiss on the lips for that. Relishing the space of an hour that I had to enjoy the quiet, I sat down to pay attention to a few articles of mail that had come in the past day or three. I figured I would breeze through the paperwork, pick up the house and start dinner.

All was humming along nicely until I opened a letter from a company to which we make monthly payments. It is one of our major bills, and since I am responsible for such, my heart stopped when I read our payments where severely past due. What?!?!!? This was impossible! This was not good. Not good at all. Not just the fact of it alone, but for the fact that I would need to show this to my pearly-white credit scored husband.

The bill was a newcomer to our list of ugly monthly obligations. A result of our move.

It was a new company, and to keep the boring details to a minimum, I had signed up for automatic monthly withdrawls on their website.

Or so I thought.

In the meantime, we had found a new bank that is close to home and I had yet to understand/learn their online banking site, which is what I had used to review statements and deposits/withdrawls at our old one. When I would take the paycheck in to deposit I was always in a hurry as my sister would pop in to stay with the kiddos so I could do so). I cast a quick look at the balance on the little white slip and I clearly remember lifting my eyes to the Heavens thinking "Wait a minute!...Wow!..This balance, it's like the miraculous never-ending barrel of flour found in the Biblical story of Elijah and the widow. We must be spending even less than I thought we were! Praise God! ". (Fellow Sanguines are laughing in understanding. The melancholy's are cringing in embarrassment and disgust)

Did I investigate why our balance seemed off? No. Wow! A little extra? Let's go to Target & celebrate!

Did I blindly take the confirmation email that said I had enrolled in the monthly deduction program at it's word? Yes. I had even called to confirm I had done it right.

Was I in big, deep doo-doo? Oh yea. And rightly so.

An hour later, I found myself pacing the laundry, with a tense husband at my side, while doing my darndest to charm and cajole Supervisor Cynthia into taking pity on me, and clearing our 'good name' before it was too late. I had fumbled through my disorganized desk drawers and somehow located and laid out every piece of correspondence I had ever received from this company, in hopes that I might at least appear to have a small semblence of organization.

Well...thank the good Lord ( and believe me, I did), it all worked out. Cynthia recognized the miscommunication on their end, forgave this 'new customer' incident, we payed up and all is in the clear.

WHEW!!!!!!

It took him a few days to get over it. He still might not be.

I'm still wiping my forehead in relief that my lack of attention to detail did not dive our family into financial ruin. Charm does not pay the bills, but it came through this time when we were behind due to my stupidity. Again...'whew!'

I would like to think this will never happen again, yet these kinds of things (not just bills, but the results yielded from our weaknesses) are a part of life. They happen and when they do, it is best to chose to love, chose to learn and chose to move on.

That's what we've done yet again this week. Especially my better half--who rebels against having his picture taken, as seen below.

Golly gee whiz--it's 11:10pm already! This week we officially moved the children's bedtime up to 7pm (sometimes earlier), which has left more time for us to be together--or in instances like tonight, for me to have time to journal my thoughts in this way. The children wake up at 6:30am no matter what time we put them to bed, thus we thought "why not earlier?". And so it is.

Babies are crying...my husband is getting the bottles ready (what a guy!) and I will go to offer another set of arms. See? I am good for something!

Thank you for dropping by! Goodnight, friend....