Coffee with Erin
A: Learning to make it on my own... BUT with God's strength. I had just graduated from college before moving to France. My everyday life was filled with social activities thanks to dorm life. Then I arrived in France - no friends, no family, no knowledge of the language. My husband was gone all day at work and that left me all alone. These were some of the hardest moments ever. My husband was convinced that I needed to be pushed to do things so I would try to take care of various tasks (doctor's appointments, passports, etc.) with minimal French. It was frustrating, nerve-wrecking, and discouraging. And even when I was able to speak better, people seemed afraid to talk with me and always saw me as "the foreigner." With each event (a wedding, a birth, a house renovation, an international move), I was forced to learn the how-to and the vocabulary to do so, and often I was on my own to do so. Moving to Italy, I relived the whole experience over again, but with less difficulty. When there are few or no friends and no family to count, you realize what you are really made of and see how God really does give you strength to deal with each situation.
Q: On the other hand, what is one of the best part of daily living in your corner of the globe?
A: The best part of daily living here in my corner of the world is the "art de vivre." Out of the seven and half years that I have lived in France and Italy, I only had a car for two years. Getting out and walking to my daily market with fresh produce and fresh fish is one of the best things. Or perhaps sitting down to a meal with friends or family... it isn't an affair to be over with in 20 minutes. It is a long and relaxed time to discuss, enjoy the company of others, and savor your food. It's true that stores (for the most part) are not open on Sundays. And often during the week are closed at lunchtime. In France, this was from 12 PM to 2 PM. Here in southern Italy it is from 12:30 PM to 5 or 6 PM. This can be an annoyance but it also encourages a lifestyle of relaxing at home rather than running around buying things. Life just seems more slow-paced and natural here.
Q: Any interesting adjustments in a cross-cultural marriage?
A: The one thing that sticks out most to me is "language confusion." As I didn't speak any French at first, my husband and I always spoke in English. His English is quite good, but was lacking in some areas. One day we had a disagreement. I was highly annoyed at him and he was feeling likewise. He then said to me, "Erin, you are a lunatic!" Now I was furious. However, when it was all said and done, he didn't mean to say that I was crazy but just that I was moody. Another example is when we were talking about his cousin's fiancée. The whole family had been talking about how cute and nice she was. After we attended their wedding, my husband said to me, "She is very delicious." I just about lost it, but didn't say anything. I just let it simmer for days and days and then finally I let him have it. Only to realize that he was trying to say that she was very, very nice and that was no other meaning behind what he said. After seven years, I have become accustomed to his English and rarely do we have problems, but in the beginning it caused ALOT of problems. :)
Q: When was the first time you laid eyes on your now-husband?? What attracted you to him?
A: I met my husband for the first time when I was 20 years old. He was working in the US and my father was his boss. Although he says we met at a coworker's house first, I remember meeting him for the first time at my parents' house. He stood out to me, as he was talking about stinky French cheeses with his strong French accent. :) His accent, amazing sense of humor, and his knowledge on other countries and languages intrigued me.
Q: What book is currently on your night stand (notice I didn't ask what book you're currently reading. I know better!!)?
A: A rather boring answer for you, I'm afraid... besides my John MacArthur study Bible and 500 Italian Verbs, I have Grace-Based Parenting (it's been sitting there awhile waiting to be put away), Twilight (because my French sister-in-law thought I would be bored in the hospital and that I needed to catch up on my American culture), and an Italian book on God using Christians (which I will most likely never get through reading).
Q: Your favorite Italian or French dish?
A: This is extremely hard to answer as I love eating altogether. However, I will say that the French have a way of preparing meat with their delicious little sauces that is out of this world. Not to mention all that good cheese, bread, and wine. And, of course, their gourmet desserts! The Italians, however, are good at preparing fish, pasta, and vegetables. And, naturally, their "gelato" (icecream) is out of this world!
A: Funny you should ask this... after having given birth for the second time without an epidural (as I already told you), I said to mom, "I wish I could talk to Eve and say, 'What the heck were you thinking when you ate that apple?'"
If you have the time, please leave a comment which is for Erin....to encourage her, and remind her what an amazing woman she is!
Thank you, Erin, for stopping by the Coffee Cottage and giving us a taste of something new~
Comments
Good post Jeane, and excellent questions.
Debbie
Kari Eshleman Bermudez
Heather (Moore) Sherman
(class of 2000)
Brian Williams
It was so interesting reading about your life in another part of the world. I have to admit - the voice in my head, as I was reading, had an accent!
It sounds like you've adjusted wonderfully and your children are adorable.
God bless you and your family:)
Debbie
To one and all - thanks for your kind words. And, just know, that you are always welcome to come visit us, wherever we may be in this world. It's not the Ritz here but we love visitors. AND my husband is an EXCELLENT tour guide. :)
Erin - You are living a dream of mine! And one of my favorite topics to read about is others' and their experiences in Italy {or France!}. The culture changes, language changes...doing things on your own. I don't know you, but I can tell you are one very brave lady, who, with the Lord's help, is super strong! ~Michelle
Kudo's to you, Erin, for following your heart and your husband abroad; it is no small sacrifice leaving friends and family.
I visited Annecy and Paris last summer and fell in love with France. It is so beautiful. Thankfully, I had my French Major daughter with me to help with the language. And the food, wine and cheeses were amazing!! Hopefully I will have the chance to visit Italy one day as well.
Thank you for sharing a little bit of your life and adventure with us.
It is so interesting to me to see how people in other countries live and enjoy time together. I lived in Spain as a teenager and everything closed after lunch for their siesta(afternoon nap) and their dinner time was like 9pm.
Great memories! Connie