Pause. Breathe. Breathe Again.

I am not awesome.

I am not an amazing parent. In fact, today I feel like abandoning ship.

Or, at the very least, locking myself into the bathroom, curling up into a ball in the bathtub and just closing my eyes, while adjusting the ear plugs to drown out the heck that is breaking loose outside the door.

I've been giving in ("just take the darn cheese stick and be quiet (although I want to say the forbidden 'shut up')! So who cares if it's your 18th today and your stopped up to here???!!!?"), pushing to complete the simplest things, with a little one undoing everything that's been done, and wiping everything from stinky heinies to sticky honey.

This is where I need to

PAUSE.

BREATHE.

BREATHE AGAIN.

REMEMBER the BIG PICTURE.

RECALL my wonderment at how I could become so infuriated and frustrated by these precious children, while I watch them sleep after the climax of daily living has subsided.

I was meant to be their mother, and there is more to this than keeping them alive while they're little. A whole lot more that involves history and His story for their lives.

No need to be alarmed. I am not depressed, am not down on myself, but am simply sharing the grit of the daily grind and following through on my desire to not simply post the pretty. This is the hardest job I've ever been honored to do...and some days, even though I am ALWAYS grateful, I don't particularly like the particulars.

I am sure you don't know what I mean, but perhaps you know someone who does.

;)

Love to you!