Pause. Breathe. Breathe Again.

I am not awesome.

I am not an amazing parent. In fact, today I feel like abandoning ship.


Or, at the very least, locking myself into the bathroom, curling up into a ball in the bathtub and just closing my eyes, while adjusting the ear plugs to drown out the heck that is breaking loose outside the door.


I've been giving in ("just take the darn cheese stick and be quiet (although I want to say the forbidden 'shut up')! So who cares if it's your 18th today and your stopped up to here???!!!?"), pushing to complete the simplest things, with a little one undoing everything that's been done, and wiping everything from stinky heinies to sticky honey.


This is where I need to

PAUSE.


BREATHE.


BREATHE AGAIN.


REMEMBER the BIG PICTURE.


RECALL
my wonderment at how I could become so infuriated and frustrated by these precious children, while I watch them sleep after the climax of daily living has subsided.


I was meant to be their mother, and there is more to this than keeping them alive while they're little. A whole lot more that involves history and His story for their lives.


No need to be alarmed. I am not depressed, am not down on myself, but am simply sharing the grit of the daily grind and following through on my desire to not simply post the pretty. This is the hardest job I've ever been honored to do...and some days, even though I am ALWAYS grateful, I don't particularly like the particulars.


I am sure you don't know what I mean, but perhaps you know someone who does.
;)
Love to you!

Comments

Dale said…
You are doing well....breathe deeply and remember the ocean air and scents...the waves washing in, regular and without skipping a beat....God is under it all....and you are being a faithful mother in the midst of the craziness.....
i like what Dale said and agree wholeheartedly.

looking forward to combining our tribes before too long.

thanks for being REAL, it's the BEST kind of encouragement.
Can I come and help? I'll take three and you take two, or I 'll take two and you can keep three. I sure do hope the blueberries counteract with the cheese sticks:)

I love you!
Mom
Michelle said…
You make me smile. Love & Prayers to YOU!
I had to breath deeply today....Praying tomorrow will be better....Love your blog..

I have a new giveaway on my holiday blog, A Baby Changes Everything, with more copies of IN A HEARTBEAT to give away on TUESDAY. Stop by and enter

http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com/
Yes, yes, and yes. I can so relate, and I only have two! But I am so encouraged with your realness and just knowing there is someone else out there that needs God so much as well. This thing of motherhood is not glorious, but it's one of the best things that's happened to me. I have a big sign in my living room that says, "Keep Calm and Carry On!" Good reminder for me when I feel like I'm on my very last nerve!! :) Love love love your blog!!

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