Some mornings...

...some mornings i question whether i am a part of the human race anymore....

...if my body is merely a tool to feed a newborn, block potential run-in's with sharp furniture corners, provide elevator service to a toddler who cannot yet walk down the stairs herself, prepare nourishment to keep others alive, etc., etc....

....My newborn has thrush, and thus I do too. If anyone reading this has experienced this phenomenon, you know that it's something akin to having your nipples in shreds and still feeding your precious little one. (It's a good thing a mother's love is so strong). I ran out to the pharmacy last night, desperate to pick up the prescription the nurse at our Pediatric practice promised to call in. We're all human, and so is she. They never called it in. So I sat on our Lazy Boy with a big wet warm towel drapped over 'the girls', smothered them with Lanonlin and earnestly prayed Kenzie would feel 'full' for several hours.

...and I wonder this morning: Is it possible for a one year old female to prematurely develop symptoms of PMS? If she's related to me (and this particular person is), it probably is very possible (I was ready to shave at age 4. My mother told me it's because I have a German heritage and brown hair(?!?!?). I guess she was rummaging for some decent sounding excuse for her abundantly hairy daughter).

...Has anyone ever successfully experiemented with growing additional appendages, ie: two extra arms/hands?? Please forward me any information if possible and as soon as possible.

...We've had PBS Kids on ALL MORNING LONG. I feel like I should feel guilty for this. But you know what? Today, I do not. We'll read and do crafts tomorrow. Maybe.

....I know and respect the danger of SIDS. I just wish they wouldn't tell you that laying your baby on his/her belly is a huge risk for this particular tragedy. Every single last one of my babies have so much preferred sleeping curled up on their belly. But...I wouldn't want to risk it. (But I still do sometimes).

...I dream of having a piping hot cup of coffee and spending some time alone with God on my front porch every morning. Well, I haven't literally dreamt it, but it certainly is a nice thought and yet I know He perfectly understands and loves me just as much as if I spent 10 hours engrossed in the Bible and in quiet solitude, listening for His voice. As it stands at this moment, I am the main expression and illustration of His love to 3 little lives...and even though it's not glamorous or particularly exciting, it is a bigger responsibility and privalege than I know.

...I miss uninterrupted sleep.

This post has served it's purpose. I have 1.) publically vented and 2.) assured any readers that I am not one of those wonder-women who profess to have it all together (or even almost).

My dear mom is coming up this morning for an hour or so...I will welcome her warmly into this little hub of PBS, thrush and one otherwordly looking creature with sore boobs.

Doesn't it make you want to drop by?

Please don't.

;-)

I'm smiling (for real). For all of it's little teensy, weensy inconveniences, my reality is a precious one to have. Thank you, Lord!