Modify

Life is a melody of modifications. I am coming to understand why those with a very planned, perfectionist personality tendancy have a harder time 'relaxing' in life, as there is just no way that life can be neatly addressed the same way, to the same people or cirucmstances in a once and done matter.

Lately it has occured to me that parenting is making modification upon modification. I am not in a classroom, but I am learning (and learning that I have so very much to learn!) on a daily basis.


For instance...


- Modification Example No. 1: Christopher and Annie go to bed every night by 8pm. One night Annie was especially distraught and after several moments of giving her the opportunity to 'work it out' on her own, I went in and picked her up. I uncharacteristically took her over to my bed where I was reading and spent the next 30 minutes completely enjoying one on one time with her. She was beyond joyous the entire time. Her little face lit up and she 'talked' and 'talked'. It occurred to me that she does and will continue to need occasional time with JUST me. Her older brother has a gregarious, 'big' personality that is usually right by her side all day, and in a few months, she'll have another little sibling trailing along behind her. Her personality is not demanding, and she will not 'ask' for it, but it does not negate her need for the individual attention, be it 10 minutes a day. She is not Christopher and she is not anyone else in the world. She is Annie, and I need to learn what works for her. Modification is in order here.


-Modification Example No. 2: In the past, when my 13 year old step son has disclosed he is interested in a girl or has a 'girlfriend', I used to ask a thousand questions, simply because I am nosey (and I do genuinely care about what is going on in his life). Recently, I realized this is not the best approach. At all. Instead, I show interest, but I do not grill or interrogate. I wait and usually it reaps good rewards.

-Modification Example No. 3: Here is a "marriage" example, hot off the press of my personal experience! When I was child and up until the moment I married and shared living quarters with the love of my life, I had no compunction killing all and any multi-legged insect that crossed my path. Nary a whisp of guilt would float across my conscience as eagerly I wadded up a large mass of toilet paper (or grabbed the nearest shoe) in attempts to end the life of a creature that might crawl on me if left to live. This worked for me. Until I became "we". I was not previously aware that I had indeed married Dr. DoLittle of the insect world. After watching me glory in a particular killing of a thousand-legger (formally known as a centipede), he asked that I let them live ('they haven't done anything to you, have they?") by either turning my head or ushering them gently out the back door into freedom. Hmmmm...I thought long and hard about that, but I soon realized that this was mildly important to him and so, I no longer kill insects. Instead, I have my modification to my past 'barbaric' behavior. I now gently wrap the multi-legged creature (most often a 'stink bug', if you know what they are) in a cloud of toilet paper (several times) and then send them on what I like to refer to as a 'cruise' in the exotic "Commode Canal", otherwise known as a toilet. I have not killed them, but rather, I have given them an opportunity to see another part of th world...if they survive the cruise, well, I leave that in the all-knowing hands of God. For all I know, there could be a small nation of stink bugs within the depths of our sewer. What I am really hoping is that my husband, if he should so unfortunately read this post, appreciates this modification applied in our life together. Trust me, he's made just as many as I have!


Modifications are not limited to parenting by any means (as attested to above). Really...just look at your friendships, your marriage, your relationships in general. There are pillars of Truth that are best to build these relationships on, but then there are so many other variables to give and take and make modifications on.


This posting is wordy and BORING. If you are still reading to this point, I apologize!!! This is what happens when I write past 9pm. This is why I do NOT usually do it. However, I am without a charger for the laptop I use, and thus I only have so much time after the children are in bed to use my husband's. So here you are, stuck with this wandering litany of thoughts, probably wondering if another few of my brain cells have taken flight (and the answer to that would be a resounding "YES!!!").


Here are a few pictures from the last few days:


On Monday, Rick had several of his buddy's over and Christopher was in total and complete awe. Annie was too...although if she would have been, oh let's say, 11 years older, she would have thought her day had come, as all these boys-turning-into-men where sitting around her walker, giving her all the attention she wanted. It was a memorable sight to see them both with their biggest brother and his great friends.






Today was my dear mom's birthday! We had her and my dad up for a simple dinner and as usual, the children were ecstatic to see them! They are such loving grandparents, for which I am grateful beyond words. Here are a few pictures of my wonderful, loving mom on her special day (with her special fan club!).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!

Good night! (If you happen to be reading this at night, before bed, it should aide in helping you fall asleep, if it hasn't already. I apologize for the rambling!) :)