Blank Baby Book and other sources of guilt.

This is a picture of peace. It's a peace I can have even a thousand miles away from this place.

Like my living room. Where the floor needs shampooed and the sounds of the moment are babies who need fed. Sure, my front porch doesn't overlook the sea, and my recliners are reclining for the winter...but my heart is the same heart anywhere it resides. And the best peace of all is found in any locale, thank you God!!

Hello! How are you on this rainy Friday???

I'm just settling in, back from running around town with two babies in tow. I carried Christopher directly to bed and washed a few dishes and made myself my daily afternoon 'indulgence", an International Coffee Cappuchino Cooler, Hazelnut flavor. My precious little girl is laying here beside me, rolling from back to front, front to back, quite tickled with herself if she must say so. (And she must. Her little verbalisms are expressing that to me. I'm her mother, I should know. If she has my blood coursing through her little veins, than she is a woman who is driven to great heights, even by the smallest affirmation. If she can't find if from someone else, she'll take what she gives herself. HA! Sad, isn't it???)


She rolled over for the first time yesterday. I didn't see it until I noticed she was suddenly on her belly. It was then that I forced myself to march upstairs and retreive her dear little baby book her grandma gave her. I scoured the pages looking for the "first time I rolled over" segment,and was overcome with guilt as I came to blank page after blank page with opportunities to fill in memories of 'firsts' that she had already done. Poor gal...she'll be reading her book someday and the phrase "On or about January 10th..." or "Around September of 2007..." . With the exception of her birth date, there will be very, very few specific dates. That's what you get for having a Sanguine mother who has two baby books to fill out simultaneously. Oh well, at least she'll have fun memories of making tents and play productions and hopefully a few other imaginative pasttimes.


That brings me to the fact of guilt and how ridiculous a thing it is. It should have no place in our lives, especially since we are loved by God so vastly, and there is no need to perform or attain His favor...it's all already there!!! Instead, guilt washes over us when we don't meet human expections, including self-induced ones. I think the word "Should" would be better off completely omitted from the follower of Jesus' vocabulary. Really, think about it....

It's a word loaded with guilt, obligation and expectation. And since when do those words describe what a healthy relationship between a child and his/her Father should be? If a child has a healthy relationship with his or her father, and their lives are lived in response to that all-encompassing love, why would 'should' be involved in their other relationships?

Well, as usual, I do not have time to go deeper down my pathway of thoughts. But, i'm sharing as I can, and that should be good enough! SEE! I did it again!!!! ;)

Love to you...

Jeane`