20%

I probably should not admit this publicly.

But since there is nary a priest nearby, and since no adverse repercussion occurred because of it, I will disclose the deed of desperation I did this past week. {Oh, and dear, if you're reading this, forgive me for unintentionally omitting this from the 'how was your day' part of our conversation Wednesday evening.}

It was Wednesday. I call this particular day of the week my  'Glory Day' due to the glorious fact that my dear mother takes on  her grandmothering role in a big way by taking my four, three and two year old for the day. This leaves me with 'only' two. Trust me, it makes a noticeable and terribly nice difference.

While it is still not easy-breezy to tote twins along whilst running errands, it sure beats stuffing five in a cart (of which I have never been stupid enough to try. yet.). Being the dutiful, efficient mama-machine I am, the boys belly's were filled, their teething mouths swallowed the appropriate level of Infant Ibuprofen (ok. maybe i topped them off with a little extra for good measure) and their warm pantsuits were completed with matching socks (a rarity indeed!). I strapped them snugly in their car seats, dropped a bottle of diluted apple juice in their chubby little hands and off we went in my sporty, dented white mom-mobile.

The two winter snow suits I bought off JCpenny.com were breathtakingly easy to return at the mall. I had to do the nasty chore of making a return after realizing I had already been given 2 winter coats that would fit the boys, and after the box and receipt that had accompanied the new coat's delivery had helped fuel the bon fire in the back yard Saturday. The Customer Service Rep was efficient  and we were in and out.
Bing, bam, boom.
Just like I like it.

Next stop was the new Christmas Tree Shoppe, a clear and present danger to household budgets everywhere. Unbeknownst to me, it was their "Grand Opening" celebration, thus already small-aisled store was Packed (yes, that's with a capital "P"). I originally attempted to make-do with my double wide stroller dually serving as my cart. Alas, after nearly having the  large collage frame I picked up for my sister's Bridal shower slip out of my hand (twice), and the smallish Christmas tree that was precariously perched on the canvas awnings above my boy's heads threatening to lodge their plastic needles in their nostrils, I struggled back to the front of the store to retrieve a cart.

Now pushing the double wide stroller in front of me and pulling a cart from behind, with great finesse (yea right) and the patience of Job, I navigated the throngs of the general public who came to check this new place out.

2 lamps, 1 Christmas Tree, 1 Collage Frame wall hanging, 3 Chocolate Advent Calendars, 1 glass cylinder, 1 recipe book and 2 rattle play phones (rewards) later I forged my way to the front of the store (all the while being stopped for various people to inquire as to whether or not my identically dressed, identically sized boys were or were not twins and informing me as if for the first time, that I 'have my hands full').

As I near the front of the store, I realize the line of carts that snaked around the corner of the front aisle and almost halfway to the back of the store was, to my great disdain, the check out line. One, yay just ONE measly little line was 'open'. The guy in bright yellow fleece behind me exclaimed "Why would they only have ONE line open on the morning the coupon comes in the paper?". 

Coupon??? What coupon?? 
 My despair only deepens as I realize not only am I stuck (I can't just abandon my cart because there's no room to do so subtly AND because my sister's shower is the next night AND because I went to all this trouble already. It would be too much to just give up), but I am now the lone coupon-less lady in a crowd full of coupon-carrying citizens. My eye spies the coupon of the lady ahead of me, and I see the '20% Off Your Entire Purchase' font flying off the page.

20%??? Off EVERYthing???

That is no small savings!

I deep sigh at the predicament that was before me. Due to their placement at 'the end of the chain of command' in our family, the twins are gratefully exhibiting their patient dispositions, although I know I'm living on borrowed time. The lady behind me and I had started chatting about this and that, and how we would have done things differently on the morning of such a "Grand" event. We decided to make the best of it, stop whining and thus Lauren and I became friends. She appeared to be around my mom's age (which is VERY young), wearing a pretty salmon colored cardigan, with a coordinating scarf and pretty bead earrings. She enjoyed talking with the boys, exclaiming at their contentedness.

The apron-clad store manager, who kept coming to apologize for the wait and assure us she had 2 new cashier's coming on in '5 minutes' (all through our 30 minute wait), informed me (upon my request) that indeed, there were no fliers/coupons within the store, but that next door, at Bed Bath and Beyond, there was a whole stack of them. She looked at me somewhat sympathetically and asked, "Don't you have anyone with you that could run over and retrieve one for you?"

"No", I stated, "And of all days! I left Julio De Garcia, my pool boy/butler/manny/coupon retriever at home! Gosh, golly, darn!"

The 20% figure grew as I let it stew in my mind while waiting, waiting, waiting. That extra 20% would justify the fake Christmas tree we didn't really need, but would look so cute on the shelf above the TV. I would keep it up all winter long, adding a cozy, warm touch to our winter indoor landscape. 20% would take off the 'unneccessary' element to it's purchase.

I bit my bottom lip as desperation overtook my being, and I felt myself suddenly turning to my salmon cardigan-clad fellow line partner behind me and this is what came out:

"Excuse me. I know this may seem a bit odd, and perhaps you'll think less of me, but would you mind staying with my boys while I run next door for a coupon?"

{Did I mention that it was for 20% off the ENTIRE purchase??}

And just like that, I left my precious twin boys with a perfect stranger.
 In the next 1.5 minute I proceeded to nearly knock down 5 slowly moving old ladies whilst tearing down the sidewalk, in through the electric doors of Bed Bath and Beyond, past the counter where the stack of the desired objects lay, slipped a handful into my grasp, gave an apologetic 'hello' to the BB&B store manager who was guarding the exit with a leery look and made my way back into The Christmas Shoppe masses to where the new guardian of my two children was standing {at the exact spot i left her} in line.

In my defense:


a}. If she had wanted to kidnap the boys, I couldn't have blamed her, but if you would have seen the way the store was packed to the gills, you would have known that navigating the double stroller to the exit and out to the parking lot in the time it took me to run next door, was nigh to impossible. Plus, she was wearing classy brown heeled boots, not running shoes. She could not have gone far.


b}. When is the last time you saw a mug shot of a woman with coordinated cardigan, scarf and bead earrings....along with a stylish short haircut and perfectly applied makeup?? Have you ever heard of 'The Cardigan Caper' on America's Most Wanted?
I rest my case.

Desperate? Perhaps.
Fool-Hardy? Maybe.
81.00 bill reduced to 66.00? Worth the minuscule risk.


I leave you with this portion of scripture to mediate on as you digest this post.


Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.
-Luke 6:37

;)

Happy Weekend to you, my friend.
Thank you so much for taking time to drop by.