Fashion Plate (or not!)

Mr. Tim Gunn {or an equivalent Fashion Consultant},

I am writing to let you know that this afternoon would be

a most superb time to surprise

this grubby little housewife with an ambush makeover.

You would have countless aspects of my physical appearance to

take and make 100 times more chic, appropriate and style-worthy.

Yet, since I have not been on the forefront of the fashion scene as of late, perhaps the " pasty white, dotted-with-cellulite legs paired with a tad-too-short denim skirt and capped of with smelly pom-pom tassled black slippers" look is the hottest rage since the crisp white shirt met the straight black pencil skirt.

But just in case that look is not on the runways of New York City, as I suspect, here I am. Waiting.

Warmly,

Frump E. Freida