Help me remember

Dear God in Heaven, 

When my heart is overwhelmed with love for and a deep desire to protect these children you have given me, and my mind weighs the heavy darkness of the world we are raising them in help my flimsy memory to be strong enough to recall the words of old.

Words of old that have been kept true for today. This moment.

Our lives come to us by way of moments. We are given what we need for the one we are presently in. Help me to appreciate the moment, to embrace the happy chaos, the colors of childhood and the goodness you have allowed us to taste and see and feel. Help me deeply enjoy these moments, without allowing them to be tainted by fear of the unknown future. The big-scene future is known to you, as are our individual and immediate ones. You've seen it all since the beginning of time. All the colors fit together brilliantly and some day we will have eyes that see it. I forget that.

May I never lose sight of the simplicity of the style of life we enjoy in this season of small children. There is a rapid current of culture that surrounds us.

It propels us to fill our calendars to the brim, pack our days full and far from home,

which could leave us with little time to notice that one sticks his tongue out when it's time to smile and the other would much prefer to climb than recline.

Sometimes it's easier to go along with flow, than to swim upstream...

but we are willing to do so if it means being together longer, and because of it, stronger.

Keep us mindful that staying close to home and creating space to know and grow within the sphere of unconditional love while they are young is no careless task. It is a careful decision. I do not take for granted that I have the ability to have a choice. Not all do, yet God weaves His grace and strength when what has to be done trumps the way we want it done. Even within the decision to stay put, and the lack of rushing around, there are so many, way too many, moments where I feel I am only 'surviving' instead of thriving.  Yet there are those thriving seconds tucked into moments...little bursts of time in which the fog of keeping them alive lifts, and I see these beautiful little people in my midst. It happened yesterday, when my third-born, my "little hurricane", handed me a clump of crimson mums and a handful of handpicked and carefully arranged leaves. The little heart behind moments like these are beautiful reminders that I am doing that which really matters.

When I am overcome with the darkening storm clouds that hold no promise of a cozy Currier and Ives scenes painted in my children's future, help me remember there was never that promise for any parent of any child during any generation. Not on this side of Heaven.

Help my frail faith, even though I have seen your Faithfulness time and again, reach deeper and know fuller the breadth of your availability, protection and provision.
There is nothing new under the sun, or above it.
His faithfulness is the constant in the timeline of History, even when invisible.

I heard you whisper today, as I battled out the fear that gnaws at my awareness of current events: "It's all gonna be ok, Jeane`...in the end, it's just going to be the beginning and it's all gonna be far more than 'ok'".

He is right.
My heart can rest.

***

You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
   Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
      I trust in you and I'm safe!"
   That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,

His huge outstretched arms protect you—
      under them you're perfectly safe;
      his arms fend off all harm.
   Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
      not flying arrows in the day,
   Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
      not disaster that erupts at high noon.
   Even though others succumb all around,
      drop like flies right and left,
      no harm will even graze you.
   You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
      watch the wicked turn into corpses.
   Yes, because God's your refuge,
      the High God your very own home,
   Evil can't get close to you,
      harm can't get through the door.
   He ordered his angels
      to guard you wherever you go.
   If you stumble, they'll catch you;
      their job is to keep you from falling.
   You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
      and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

   "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,
      "I'll get you out of any trouble.
   I'll give you the best of care
      if you'll only get to know and trust me.
   Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
      I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
   I'll give you a long life,
      give you a long drink of salvation!"

~psalm 91

(A Psalm worth committing to memory and I'm going to).