Of Obituary & Profile Pictures


When I used to live at home, and peruse my parent's newspaper I remember chuckling at the images on the obituary page. I certainly was not laughing at the deceased, but was amused at the accompanying photograph. I wondered if Beatrice Bomberger who had passed had hand selected the photo at one point in the past, choosing the imageof 'her best self' that she wanted to be remembered by. It mattered not that it might have been a forty-eight year old picture with ten inch high hair. And that was what made me chuckle...



And then just the other day, it struck me: Golly gee whiz...I do this too!
I'm not so morbid as to be picking out an obituary picture, but there is that 'new' thing called 'Facebook' and within it, a potentially deceiving little corner called 'Profile Picture'.
Sure, I guess it is natural to put one's 'best face forward', so to speak...but
when the difference is so dramatic, I have to wonder if it's possible to be slapped with a charge of 'false marketing' or identity theft by the Facebook Police.

I present you with Exhibit A and Exhibit B...


                                                        
 Exhibit A:
 If you were to Google "Frumpy Housewife", this would surely be the first of 20,132,658 images to pop up. This particular scene was shot at NOON of a random weekday. The subject was sipping cold tomato soup left over by the lunch crew that had just left the table. She is sporting her favorite, tattered Target night shirt, paired with a Calvin Klein hand-me-down sweatshirt (she's just all class, isn't she?) AND to polish the look off, a pair of white, cuffed SOX (this word was creatively invented by a dear friend who saw this picture and was trying to push 'sexy' and 'socks' into one word, naturally). If you were to knock on her back door at any given day at any given time, you would be hard pressed to find that woman, if you were expecting this one:



 
Exhibit B:
Photo taken at a special event (sister's bachelorette party) by photographer/cousin with a super-dee-duper-dee camera  (Barney, get thee behind me!!!), at which subject knew that her sister's young, cute friends would be in attendance and took extra care to apply/do the following items: Shower, shave, pluck, spray L'Oreal Sublime Bronze all over body (twice), generously apply Bare Essentuals all over face (and perhaps neck), pluck, pencil in eyes and lips, apply volume-enhancing hair product (not that she need it. See Exhibit A {ahem}), pluck, dry hair, tease hair, curl hair, spray hair, brush teeth, apply lipstick and a dash of perfume.
Simple as that.


***

Someday, if I run into Beatrice Bomberger in Heaven, I'll give her a little knowing smile and say 'Hey! I know you! You look JUST like your obit picture, Beat!!".  And someday, if you knock at my back door anywhere from 7AM to 7PM, please hide your shock and refrain from asking if you've got the right house. Just smile, don't breath through your nose (shower/teeth brushing aren't necessarily guaranteed) and come on in!

Comments

Anonymous said…
OMW!!! i was just thinking this morning how i would LOVE to be a fly on the wall in so many houses with families like ours. are we normal? showers might or might not (ever) happen...get dressed? what, are we going somewhere? and, if my husband happens to send someone over to drop off something/pick up something without FIRST calling muah...so sorry for the sight you might see. not my fault you didn't call first ;)
makeup or not, jammies, or jeans...you're always welcome too!
-liz y.
Marian said…
Love your honesty. Now for some of mine...you look GREAT, nevermind what day (or time of day) it is! Just wondering...is that your coat on the back of your chair too?? I would probably be caught going to the mailbox with my 'male' coat on! Ha ha!
Jeane', this made me laugh so much!! I think my worst at home wear is that sometimes I wear my white socks with my brown Birkenstock sandals (which are like my slippers). Once I went to run an errand and looked down to see that my "at home" white socks w/ brown sandals look had followed me to Rite-Aid!
jacque said…
You make me smile every single time I read your posts! Love the comments on the glasses post that covered your entire face. Mostly because I too had those same glasses, mine were red!
My kids leave the house at 7am for school so I'm up early but rarely do I actually get to the shower and teeth until 10! During which time I am always worried some poor soul will indeed knock on my door! In the summer, forget it! I usually do brush my teeth but just pull on a hat while I'm mucking stalls and working in my garden! Then into the pool I go so I could technically go days without a shower. I don't of course, my poor husband would probably run screaming back to work if that were the case!
Funny as it seems I've actually pondered the same question. I think about age 50 I should get an obit picture of myself ready with detailed instructions, of course I'll have to remember to update it every few years. Who does that? Well, maybe me?!?
Thanks for the smiles!
To me dear daughter, you look beautiful on both pictures. Lucky me, I have seen you in real life in both situations and I stand by my first statement. Love this post!
Terri said…
HAHA! I have proof that is not really true of EVERY random weekday between 7-7pm...I saw you at 10am all plucked and coiffed. I don't believe you. Also...don't hate me for saying I really like the natural you in the picture...sans the socks.
this was awesome.

i had to laugh out loud,(which is always a given when i "stop in") and then i had to look closer at the first picture and laugh some more! i just had to drink in all the lovely details of the picture! YOU ARE SO NEAT! I mean it, the way you write, live, love and express yourself....can't get enough! please wear those socks to my house sometime....with flip flops!
Anonymous said…
my biggest fear is when i am too old to pluck my extremely large eyebrows and the uni-brow returns and nearly 3/4th my forehead is covered in eyebrow hair. i am able to maintain it now, but give it another 20 years and i am scared what i may look like. ya know.
when i had my stroke and was unable to maintain my brow i got a beautiful sneak peak at what my face (above the eyes) will indeed look like. SCARY!


by the way, you look great!!
Shelly said…
I don't know you IRL, but enjoy visiting you here. I can so relate to this post, esp. now that I've had my third one (3 under 3.5) . . . I have never had so many stay-in-my-jammies days the entire rest of my life put together as I have had in the past two months!! And getting ready to go away?? It's a total marathon that can leave one extremely exhuasted and ready for a nap. Nice to know I'm in good company with other wonderful women! ;)
Rachel said…
haha!! yes indeed...there are days when i would be mortified to have people drop in unannounced, but i figure if they are willing to do that, then they should be willing to deal with the consequences!
it's always comforting to know other mom's in similar shoes are the same way...cause sometimes, as you know, it can feel like a lonely road.

thanks for keeping it real.
Sarah said…
I'm right there with you. If I am staying home on a given day, I will stay in my pj's as LONG as possible (which is either until I have to get ready to go somewhere or I can no longer stand my own stink.)
betsyesbenshade said…
I am so with you on this one too!! I have always wondered about "early photo" on obituaries, that is until now. Pushing 50 I have to admit I stashed my last graduation photo to be used in mine! Most real women do not look presentable at all times. Fortunately for you, and your husband, you look cute all the time.
Leanne O said…
Oh yah! Last Saturday I called my grandparents at 6:30pm to see if I could stop by for a visit. "what time you coming?" Opa asked. "not anytime soon," I answered. "i'm going to have to get out of my jammies first." "Come in your jammies," Opa invited. "I can't," I replied, "I have to go get some groceries and I haven't showered since Thursday morning!"

Such is the life! Thanks for the laugh.
Ps. from now on I'm referring to my lovely footwear as SOX! :)
Grace Remembers said…
Haha...you are not alone & neither am I:) All those years working, I did not have a choice but to get ready & head out the door. During this time of no work, I have had more days like these than I would like to admit. Fear of someone coming to my door is very real. (Though on the days I look okay, I sometimes wish someone would knock. How a person would know, beyond checking in first, if it is a good or bad day is beyond me!)

I am hesitant to admit this mostly because I do not have a little one for a few months yet. So many people, on either side of the work and/or home with kids life, have a hard time relating to me at this point in my life. (including myself!) I struggled for so long pushing to meet the "right" success/expectations in both the secular and spiritual world. I never met them & only ended up feeling empty and disillusioned. God allowed several things to happen to me that broke me. He turned everything that we are taught is normal upside down in my life. Then, instead of calling me to be a highly-functioning do-gooder, He called me to the quiet. Its been up & down trying to listen to His voice over my own, learning when to move & when to be still. I know this time of healing & preparation for what's next won't last forever. Like everyone, a work in progress.

What I am learning (slowly) is that God's path for each person is His. When I look at a person's life at any given point and think "I wish I could be more like..." or "Why does.....have it easier than me? or "Why don't they just...", I am not only hurting myself but I am in essence telling God that I know more than He does about the very person He created and loves. Scary!

Jeane': I respect where you are in your journey, admire your honesty & humor, and am often humbled by you. I can't thank you enough for accepting me where I am, even as different as we are.

By the way, if you see my recent posting on FB of me in pink just know that I did not shower until 3pm. (so I could be ready for dinner just as my husband came home and appear all together!)
-Carrie
Jen said…
Love the foxy sox! This was such an encouragement to me as I am 36 weeks pregnant, as big as a house, and at the moment wearing black leggings, and a fitted shirt that is not meant to be worn with leggings... My body shape resembles the Penguin from the Batman movie. 3rd ponytail day in a row...yowza. My lucky husband. :-) Thank goodness for friends and family that think we're beautiful all of the time. And thank goodness for tweezers, hot rollers, & bronzer but of course.

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