Living Life Loved
Mom and her girls-all together at last! (and after countless photos which none of were satisfied with, we decided to just have fun. Why pretend to be normal??)
One of a dozen sweet expressions of cheer and care sent to my door last week from a dear friend!
Life has been occurring in the past week or so since my last posting, and I have discovered that I am not as good a multi-tasking as my pride would like to take credit for.
Of course, I did have an intense rendezvous with a little virus named Bronchitis and my husband was out of town on business for the week, thus time for reflective or cheery or any kind of writing was not laying at my doorstep and if it had been, I would not have opened the door. (By the way, this experience left me with a deeper admiration for military wives who hold down their domestic forts with such fortitude. They should wear as many, if not more, pins on their lapels as their mighty military men.)
As for blogging, my time spent away from it was healthy for me. Like anything else, it is easy for this to become a competitive thing for me (and let me inject here that i speak only for myself). If I am posting just to impress, or because I feel I need to 'keep up'...it is then that it becomes a pastime of pride. My personality can way too easily lead me down that path! I suppose it's personality combined with basic human nature. I have taken a good look at my life in the past year or two and considered "what am I doing (pouring my energy,efforts and/or ego into) just to impress or pacify man-made expectations?". God has revealed there were more activities (which were not bad or evil in and of themselves-in fact, they might have been very acceptable things to most) than I cared to admit, in which I was operating out of obligation to the opinions or desiring the admiration of others rather then in a natural response to His love.
His love...that is one thing I want to know more of. There is abundant evidence of it in my life, and yet I yearn to live in it's reality deep in my heart day to day. I am guessing that the more I am convinced of it, the less of a need I have to turn my head to see who is watching or care if I find no one in the audience. Gratefully, I have experienced the love of a wonderful earthly father and I did not have the incessant need like I see so many young women do, to seek out that love and acceptance in the wrong places (and that doesn't not necessarily mean guys. I was not needy in relationships in general). Likewise, finding security in the love -and that ALONE-of my Creator who is also my Father should diminish fear and offer freedom from the expectations set forth at many invisible, unspoken levels.
His love is enough.
And in that love there is no need to perform, pretend or run ragged.
Or post for the sake of posting.
Or not include in my posting that I am one ugly "sick" woman who can't cough anymore without having control in places where I used to have a 'tighter grip' if you will. It wasn't pretty folks! :)
But as for posting and blogging and anything else like it, I am S-L-O-W-L-Y learning that living life, leaning and learning of the love of my Father and loving those in front of me is far more worthy of the time given to me than anything else!
So there are a few of the presiding thoughts in my head, which is still clearing up from the fog of last week.
On a bright note, a special part (duo) of my family was back on PA turf the past few days, and it was simply wonderful having Ashley & Matt here. They, along with Kim and my parents where a tremendous blessing last Thursday when Curt was away.
We spent the entire day with them and what fun we had--especially the kiddos. I pretty much sat on the chair and groggily observed my children being utterly spoiled. It was a harsh reality they faced after they left that evening to go back home with their hacking mother. It was funny, though, several times as I had a bit of an intense coughing spell in the van and would suddenly hear them both in the back mimicking me and 'coughing' (and smiling while doing it). They thought it sounded like an interesting game, so why not join in???
Ahh...even when sick, what a blessing to be me.
Of course, I did have an intense rendezvous with a little virus named Bronchitis and my husband was out of town on business for the week, thus time for reflective or cheery or any kind of writing was not laying at my doorstep and if it had been, I would not have opened the door. (By the way, this experience left me with a deeper admiration for military wives who hold down their domestic forts with such fortitude. They should wear as many, if not more, pins on their lapels as their mighty military men.)
As for blogging, my time spent away from it was healthy for me. Like anything else, it is easy for this to become a competitive thing for me (and let me inject here that i speak only for myself). If I am posting just to impress, or because I feel I need to 'keep up'...it is then that it becomes a pastime of pride. My personality can way too easily lead me down that path! I suppose it's personality combined with basic human nature. I have taken a good look at my life in the past year or two and considered "what am I doing (pouring my energy,efforts and/or ego into) just to impress or pacify man-made expectations?". God has revealed there were more activities (which were not bad or evil in and of themselves-in fact, they might have been very acceptable things to most) than I cared to admit, in which I was operating out of obligation to the opinions or desiring the admiration of others rather then in a natural response to His love.
His love...that is one thing I want to know more of. There is abundant evidence of it in my life, and yet I yearn to live in it's reality deep in my heart day to day. I am guessing that the more I am convinced of it, the less of a need I have to turn my head to see who is watching or care if I find no one in the audience. Gratefully, I have experienced the love of a wonderful earthly father and I did not have the incessant need like I see so many young women do, to seek out that love and acceptance in the wrong places (and that doesn't not necessarily mean guys. I was not needy in relationships in general). Likewise, finding security in the love -and that ALONE-of my Creator who is also my Father should diminish fear and offer freedom from the expectations set forth at many invisible, unspoken levels.
His love is enough.
And in that love there is no need to perform, pretend or run ragged.
Or post for the sake of posting.
Or not include in my posting that I am one ugly "sick" woman who can't cough anymore without having control in places where I used to have a 'tighter grip' if you will. It wasn't pretty folks! :)
But as for posting and blogging and anything else like it, I am S-L-O-W-L-Y learning that living life, leaning and learning of the love of my Father and loving those in front of me is far more worthy of the time given to me than anything else!
So there are a few of the presiding thoughts in my head, which is still clearing up from the fog of last week.
On a bright note, a special part (duo) of my family was back on PA turf the past few days, and it was simply wonderful having Ashley & Matt here. They, along with Kim and my parents where a tremendous blessing last Thursday when Curt was away.
We spent the entire day with them and what fun we had--especially the kiddos. I pretty much sat on the chair and groggily observed my children being utterly spoiled. It was a harsh reality they faced after they left that evening to go back home with their hacking mother. It was funny, though, several times as I had a bit of an intense coughing spell in the van and would suddenly hear them both in the back mimicking me and 'coughing' (and smiling while doing it). They thought it sounded like an interesting game, so why not join in???
Ahh...even when sick, what a blessing to be me.
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