On Worry and the Quirkiest of Quirks
Good Morning, my friend...
God answered prayer this morning. It was not accompanied with trumpets or fanfare. It was not a dramatic revelation. It was in the quiet comment of a friend who said they are feeling better and clearer than they have for a long time. I was humbled by that because I have such a minuscule amount of faith. It is shameful, especially as I can look back over my small life and see that I (and others) have been provided for time after time after time.
Yet, I'm just like my little son who breaks into a sweat (and tears) when he perceives its mealtime and he does not see his mama laboring over frozen mixed vegetables and worries when the miniature marshmallow dessert is not served immediately upon the devouring of the latter. Exasperated, I wonder "since when have I not fed him? He acts as though I have forgotten to feed him for the hundreds of meals he already consumed in his mere 17 months on planet Earth!"
I cannot blame him, because I act just like him. Except worse. My first instinct is to worry, worry, worry..and then pray. For all the Bible school, institute and studying that my history abounds with, one might think that somewhere along the way I would have memorized "Cast your cares upon the Lord" and "Pray without ceasing". Actually, I did. Those verses easily came to mind while typing. It goes to prove that memorization, for memorization's sake is not enough. It needs to become a part of one's lifestyle, of one's every thought, every breath. I suppose that is a process which takes a lifetime. No wonder they didn't make charts for stickers of accomplishment like that in Sunday School! I'd still be waiting to paste mine on there!
Ahh....(I'm taking a sip of coffee here)...so much to absorb, and so awesome a King & Kingdom to absorb from. I want to change, to be transformed, to learn how to talk with God without the least bit of self-consciousness.
On a considerably more shallow note:
I have this incredibly STRANGE quirk. I've known for some time that I've had it, as my sisters have told me in the past that I do it. But as we were watching "License to Wed" this weekend (I got to pick out the movie selection or else it might have been "Saving Private Ryan". Again.) my perfectly dear husband emoted for about 5 minutes about my odd habit. It must have been heavy on his chest, because once I opened the door, he came barreling through. I will disclose this to you here, which is probably very stupid, because you will watch for me to do this next time we are together:
I mouth the words of others while they are speaking! AND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT, as I have absolutely NO IDEA I'm doing it!!!!! I brought it up indirectly when I caught myself nudging Mandy Moore's character by nodding for her when her boyfriend sweetly proposed to her. I was so "in the moment" that I felt eyes wide open with expectation and my head bobbing to and fro. As soon as I snapped out of it, I made a comment that I had 'caught myself' in the act. That was all it took for Curt to launch into a commentary and demonstration of my subconscious desire to speak for everyone in the world, or at least the world that surrounds me at any given moment. I'm surprised he (or any of my friends!) has not yet committed me to Wernserville ( a well-known local mental penitentiary).
So, if someday you find yourself face to face with me in conversation, and I appear to begin speaking in silent tongues, PLEASE wink, nudge or outright tell me that I look like a nut case.
Thank you very much.
It's now time to hang up my "pen" for the day. For those of you (mom and Ashley) who read my blog, thank you. I certainly appreciate every soul who drops by this imaginary cottage of mine for a visit. If you have an extra minute to leave feedback, maybe a way I could pray for you, or just share about YOU, I would relish it.