Pulling out of the Pageant

Let me tell you this: If there was a visible pageant with posted guidelines going on for SuperWoman, I would not lift a finger to apply. Namely, because I would not qualify. I would not have to deliberate, wonder if I'm running circles around Suzie Q or if Donna Reed is outdoing me with her 24/7 crafting and community volunteering. Besides, I would be so embarrassed if I was a runner up (as if), for the pursuit seems awash in prideful ambition.

And yet. There is an INVISIBLE pageant running nearly all year long, year after year, with nary a proclaimed "winner" sporting a domestic tiara, yet an astounding number of  participants in pursuit of a non-existent crown. There are unspoken, but clear categories: Best interactive mother (posted pictures of their smiling children holding up the end result of afternoon crafting)...Most Brilliant Home Make (scenes of reappointed living rooms transformed "on a dime" and done in two weeks, with children)...Sexiest Wife (Instagram a picture of us on "Date Night")...The Juggler Supreme (the status updates that breathlessly give a run down of 200 things accomplished that day). The tricky thing about THIS contest however, is that it is not enough to do well in just one category. It's participants (speaking from personal experience) tell themselves they should be doing more in more categories. It's not enough to be proficient in one in this heartless contest. You've got to be able to do it all, and do a darn good job in order to qualify.

Oddly, while I would say I am out of the running even for the invisible pageant, it still hovers in the background when I see the details of my seemingly fruitless day and compare it to the "sound bites" I hear or snapshots I see from others in my season.


A dear friend from college who has a five year old and then three year old triplets shared her thoughts on this yesterday on Facebook:

Why do we always feel the need to 'have it all together' all the time?? Or at least, feel the need for other people to THINK that we do? It's exhausting, and I don't want to be a faker. Today I am choosing to embrace the fact that--- I DON'T!!! I'm human. My house is dirty, my kids have been fussy most of the day, sometimes they annoy me (yes the very same miracle babies I prayed for), I struggle to remember to brush their teeth, I cried twice before noon today, I worry about being too shy about some things and too prideful about others, and some days, I really fear that I'm an inadequate mother, wife, Christian, you name it.

There you go. That's part of who i am. But now, with that said... I'm reminded in this moment that it is those same failures, weaknesses and inadequacies that force me to realize that I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING or BE EVERYTHING that I should be, or want to be, on my own. I just can't. But those things are a blessing in disguise, when at the moment of peak frustration, they make me look to the One Who IS ABLE, who's just waiting there for me to cling onto for help, to renew my strength, to give me wisdom. It would be amazing if people (myself included) were as forgiving and forgetful as Jesus is... taking me 'just as I am'- remembering that we're all in the same boat... weak and frail under our outer shells. So here's to being real today, not because I'm in despair, but because I'm compelled by Hope and Love.

 Right on, Lydia!

This goes for women who are not mothers too. It goes for ALL of us. Especially for me.
It is way to easy to allow ourselves to silently sign up for a pageant that has no end and serves no purpose but to deplete and displace our focus.

Today, when I start to sense I'm pushing myself up on the runway that has no end, I am going to pull myself from the pageant that no one was ever meant to win.