Glean as I Go...

I have been given a little two year old soul whose body and spirit are a near-constant whirlwind of energy, curiosity and fearlessness. She has the most adorable smile, charming expressions and affectionate nature. I love her so much at times I feel my heart could burst. She brings about gasping, heartwarming moments and laughter like no one else.

When, however, things are not going her way, my oh my...

I can almost feel another white hair squeezing out of it's follicle during such moments and my blood pressure numbers accelerate at dangerous speeds (which, by the way, are frequent occurrences in any given day. Except on the days when she's residing at her grandmothers, naturally). 

I find consistency to be one of the most challenging/difficult/elusive aspects of my parenting right now. With the number of toddlers at my feet, darting here, there and everywhere (even when contained!), at times it feels nearly impossible to address every act of disobedience or impertinence. And my little blond firecracker knows just when to push the limit. She is a pro! I think she especially loves to pull out all the stops when we have guests in our home and after asking her to do something or other lowers her chin, puts on a glowering expression and  quite clearly says, "No! I don't want to". Alllll-righty, then. Excuse me as I battle my pride as a parent and weigh my options during this public display of impetulence.

**Sigh.**

When will all my efforts to prevent her from becoming one of those children pay off? That is how I feel some days. Nah, make that most days at this point. Don't get me wrong, I do not care to speak ill of my children. I see absolutely amazing potential in her...it is simply the channeling of the will that will produce the 'amazingness' that is some times downright exhausting and infuriating!).

I've continued to read various chapters out of the first parenting book I've ever owned (see more in this post). There was a considerable amount of underlining in the book, but I will simply share a few short excerpts that especially resonated with me, in hopes that perhaps you'll be encouraged too, should you need it. If not, enjoy the pictures if you wish! They were taken tonight as we took our humble garden plot to the next level. I loved the lighting and the subjects that were enveloped by it. Most of the pictures were of the one who is age two).

"For the first eighteen months of so of a child's life, his parents treat him as if he is the most special being to ever assume human form. He yells, and they show up by his side, ready to serve. When he is uncomfortable, they make him comfortable. When he is hungry, they feed him. If he is having difficulty falling asleep, they rock him. If he is tired, they pick him up and carry him. If he cannot reach something, they get it for him. They push him through shopping centers and other crowded places in a portable throne seeking his blessing in the form of a smile. By the time a child is eighteen months old, he has been given every reason to believe that he is the One the world has been waiting for. Now, it takes eighteen months to create this impression in the mind of a child; it takes eighteen years to rub it out, during most of which the child clings to the belief that he really is the One and should, therefore, be treated accordingly.

"Parents are given the task of buttering a child's bread on both sides and then teaching him he can't get it buttered on one side. If that sounds a bit confusing, think of what it must feel like to a young child! Do you now have a better understanding of why toddlers have a reputation for being so "difficult"? I mean, this is a bitter pill for a toddler to swallow.  His parents must slowly but surely lead him to accept that there will even be times when he can't get his bread buttered on one side. And that's not the whole of it, because his parents must also teach him that there will be times when he can't get his bread buttered on either side. And that's not even the whole of it because his parents must also teach him that there will be even times when he won't have a scrap of bread!"

A Family of Value, by John Rosemond

"The overall idea is not to make the child subservient, but to create for him an authority on which he can rely."

"When, in the late 1970's, I first began speaking on this subject, I referred to this sort of reliable parent as a "benevolent dictator". Some folks were shocked . Some were amused.. Regardless, most misunderstood. I said "Benevolent dictator", but they only heard dictator. I remember quite a few people accusing me of "promoting parental tyranny". Not so. I was saying that a parent's two most important responsibilities are those of communicating unconditional love and unconditional authority; to be, in other words, a "Benevolent Dictator", in the truest sense of the word. "

"How is it possible for a parent to be an effective role model, to set a good example, to teach, unless the child is paying more attention to the parent then the parent is paying to the child?"

"Children will not pay attention to adults who are acting as if it is their primary obligation to pay attention to those children. In the mind of the child, it is either the job of adults to pay attention to him, or his to pay attention to adults. For the first eighteen months of life, it is absolutely necessary that adults create the impression that it is their job to pay attention to the child. As a result, young toddlers do not feel they are obligated to pay attention to their parents. This is why young toddlers run away from their parents in shopping centers and other public places, oblivious to the danger. They do not pay attention to their parents because, in their minds, it is their parent's responsibility to pay attention to them. Period. The next eighteen months is spent convincing the child otherwise. It boils down to this: It is the job of the adult to teach. You cannot teach a student who isn't paying attention. Period."

~Making the Terrible Two's Terrific, John Rosemond

My pride kinda wishes i had a little parenting advice of my own to share.

However, I do not.

Gee whiz, I only have two potty trainings under my belt!

Maybe in about 60 years I'll have something of value to impart should their be an inquiry, but until then, I'll continue to glean as I keep going. I'll keep tripping up as I travel, but God gives Grace...and how grateful I am for that.