Warriors of Light

As we do on so many evenings, with five little heads laying on their cool pillows, we visited the Castle in the Woods. The castle tucked in the woods, it's crystal clear moat, secret passageways, colorful gardens and fanciful talking forest animals are fictional. The Princes and Princesses that live in it are not. The stories my imagination makes up include happy tales of bravery, kindness and extraordinary fun in a place that any child would consider a wonderland beyond anything they've known (except maybe the children who have visited Disneyland, my offspring not among those). Thanks to the strong influences of Lewis and his Narnia and Warner's Boxcar Children in my own childhood, such stories are easily on tap wherever we are.

Yesterday, the tale was a pointed one. Bad men where headed to the castle. Bad men with dark evil in their hearts. The princes and princesses inside did not know they were outside the castle walls, but as the oldest of the royal clan pulled open the heavy wooden door and stepped onto the drawbridge, his eyes squinted in a light so brilliant it rendered him blind to anything beyond it. What he couldn't see is the bad men with dark hearts trying to take what wasn't theirs. What he felt, while unexplainable, was safe, carried, and protected. 

The blinding light came from Warriors of Light whose Commander in Chief is the One who created us all. They are under strict and loving command to surround those He loves, at all times...but there is a special band of them, whose light is the brightest, who are dispatched when the darkness is thickest. I told them, my children, that these Warriors of Light are absolutely for real. I made up the castle for fun, but God has made these bright, shining creators for a purpose. He has used them throughout the broad scope of history to deliver news, scoop up His saints and shield them from danger. A few among us have felt them, seen them or know those who have.  We are limited with our earthly eyes and faltering faith. The truth is, we forget that that there is a very real and present reality all around us. There is, and has always been, an epic battle between good and evil that swirls around us. 

 

Friday was a day where it suddenly became hard for thousands of people to breath without effort and with the sense that their heart wasn't in it. It was, still is, and will always be unthinkable. The darkness we witnessed was so thick we could feel it at our doorsteps, and after we welcomed our children back through them, we considered never letting them back out again.

As I considered these things, as best as I could without laying prostrate, paralyzed with fear and heartbreak, praying to God it wasn't really true. He couldn't have allowed this. It was then He reminded me of the people group which are highlighted time and again in the scriptures. He always made time for them when His friends tried to shoo them away, always praised their pure hearts and was openly affectionate with them. Most parents would not showcase a favorite of their offspring, but with Jesus, I think He does. 

Children, I believe, bring Him a measure of joy that cannot be compared. We are all His children and the far-reaching depths of His love cannot be fully grasped.

This is why, with every fiber of my being, there is no possible way that the God I know would have allowed those precious children in that kindergarten room that could have been my two kindergartner's classroom, witness the darkness they were in the very vortex of. No, with all the space in my heart I trust that God did something very, very special for those darlings of His that someday, when we see them again, they will tell us about these bright, shining Warriors of Light that suddenly filled their room, blinding them to the darkness and scooping them up in their sinewy, muscular arms to take them Home where their rooms where waiting, the playgrounds were beckoning and never, ever again would they know even the smallest measure of pain.  If we could talk to these children right now, I have to think they would have no memory of what happened. 

What we are left with is the terrible, horrible,awfulness of the facts we do know...and that will leave our hearts feeling like rocks in our chests for a long time. Tears spring easily, fear flaunts itself as we wonder if we are being terribly irresponsible at sending our children to school on Monday. Some rush to regulate, some wish to reassign blame. I am personally ready to dig a home-sweet-hole and stay their 'til the trumpet sounds (not my actual plan, but an instinct reach for a shovel). We all wish for and will do whatever it takes to give our most precious pint-sized citizens peace and safety. 

My dad said yesterday "It's those first responders that I keep thinking of. How could one possibly ever recover from that scene?". I agreed, shuddering for the hell they will never be able to wash away from their memory. And yet, they were not the true first responders. Before darkness entered that crayon and paper filled room, the Warriors of Light were standing guard, ready to blind the innocent with their brightness to the Evil that came to steal and destroy. God in His great love for people in the middle of a world of fierce, on-going battles between dark and light, has unseen provisions. His eyes are trained tightly on my children and yours, on you and me. He knows and He is prepared, with legions of strong, shining Warriors on the ready.

For now, we only have what we see and the hope of what we do not.

***

I could be any one of these mothers, sisters, friends of those lost. My children could have been survivors and needing to navigate through the searing loss of innocence. Their pain is unimaginable to me.  I can only carry a small sliver of their grief and continuously add to the thousands of voices reaching the Throne of Grace, whose occupant knows and acutely feels their pain. Praying for the day all wrongs are made right...and until then, praying that this little Light of mine will shine where it can.