Mommy's Heart Went Pop!: Meet The Author

About every other week or so, I find myself sitting across a woman whose heart is so beautiful, her spirit so genuine and her presence so approachable that I'm always left longing for more time to know her more deeply. The only problem is, so is everyone else who knows her! Christina has many talents, among what she would say are her most important...being a supportive wife to her man and a loving mama to her four beautiful children. But those roles are not why I am writing today.

In these past few months, she has become a PUBLISHED AUTHOR of a story that was rung right out of her huge and compassionate heart. "Mommy's Heart Went Pop" is a sweetly simplistic telling of the preparations of the heart and  home for those adopting, and in this case, internationally (although it's emotions can be understood by those adopting domestically too). There have been many reviews raving over this beautifully illustrated children's book... you can read one here and here and here (or the many "five star" reviews HERE)!

The book is so special, but it is so because of the authors who penned it (along with co-author, Peter Greer). Today, I want to give you a chance to get to know the woman whose heart led her to write this book that is gaining quite a buzz because it is filling quite a need. Thank you, Christina Kyllonen, for taking time to let us all get a peek inside your heart!

Q:  You have three beautiful children and one terrific husband. Tell us when God spoke to your heart and you just knew your family was not yet complete.

A: My husband,Chad, and I always new that we would someday adopt. After we had our two oldest boys we were seriously considering starting the adoption process to bring a child home from Rwanda, which had just opened up as a sending country for the first time. We prayed about it for several weeks and just when we thought we had made the decision to go for it, we were shocked to find out that we were pregnant with our third child, a daughter. After that, Chad and I could never seem to find ourselves on the same page, when one of us was feeling ready to start an adoption, the other just didn't think it was the right time. In the fall of 2010 we found ourselves at the mid-Atlantic orphan summit. We were there to promote a local non-profit group and not to attend the sessions, and yet, somehow during the first night of the conference we were perched in the very frontest to front row (this is only weird because we are not 'front row people', we are proud cell-phone-checking-sneaking-out-to-go-to-the-bathroom-whisper-and-giggle-with-your-neighbor-back-seat-people) where we could see up the nostrils of whomever was on stage. Throughout the night we listened to speaker after speaker talk about adoption and orphan care. We listened to them talk about how children in the developing world were dying every day of illnesses that were completely manageable in the U.S. and I felt a tug on my heart. I could practically hear God say, "Christina, one of these vulnerable children is yours. But I was not loving it. I was squirming and crying and totally stressed out because we were going to to someday adopt a perfectly healthy, cute as a button, BABY girl, and I suddenly felt as though there may be a different plan in the works. As the last speaker of the evening brought his message to a close, he stopped right before praying and said, "Before I close, I just have to say one thing. There are those of you in this room, at this moment, who are totally aware of God speaking to your heart, and you are so afraid." and then (and I swear this to be true, I had never before and have never since experienced anything quite like this next moment) in a room of 400+ he looked down, directly into my eyes, and said, "God is asking you to adopt a child with medical needs, and you are too afraid to do it." He went on to list some other things regarding adoption and orphan care that he believed other scaredy cats like me were mentally running away from, but he had stopped me in my tracks, and I knew as certainly as I sat there, that God was asking us to step out of our nice, pretty adoption plan, and into His perfect one. The short ending to this story is that, as afraid as we were, we began the process that very week. Exactly one year to the day that we decided to begin the process, we were running along Ethiopian soil to gather up our daughter, Ruby, and bring her home. At the time, Ruby was a very sick two year old. Now, six months later, she is a beautiful, healthy, vibrant, two and a half year old who lights up our family in a way I had never dreamed.

 Q: When did the idea writing of Mommy's Heart Went pop originate? How long did it take? What is your dream for this book?

A: Mommy's Heart Went POP was originally written as a gift for our dear friends, Laurel and Peter Greer. Around the same time that we had been thinking of beginning a Rwandan adoption, they were in the process of bringing their son, Myles, home from Rwanda. Our family was privileged to walk with them as they worked through the long process to bring him home as their son. During that time, they frequently referred to Myles as their 'heart-born child'...I loved that phrase! I thought it was such a beautiful way to explain the way that God was shaping their family! While they were traveling to Rwanda to complete their adoption, our family was eagerly anticipating their homecoming, we were so excited to meet this little boy who we had been praying over and whose life we had been celebrating for so many months. A few days before they were due home I sat down at my computer to write laurel an letter, and out came the story of a mother waiting expectantly to bring her heart born child home from a far away land. It was the story of their family. I didn't give it to Laurel and Peter for several months, but would spend time with it every now and then and tweak it as all crazy word people do with something they love. After I had given it to them, Peter would occasionally talk about having it published. I thought this was very kind of him, but never seriously considered it. As we began the adoption of our daughter, Ruby, from Ethiopia, Peter started talking more seriously about having it published. Together our families decided to go for it with the plan that all money made from the sale of the book go directly towards the RubyMyles Fund, which is an adoption grant program that will hopefully help many other families with the financial aspect of adoption.

Q: For those who are not currently in the long, arduous-but-completely-worth-it journey to adopt, what are three of the most meaningful ways we can support those who are waiting to bring their children home (although I know there are many more than three!).

A: Oh man, the needs of a family going through an adoption are so many. Before I can give my three ways to love on, walk with, and help out an adoptive family, I need to first say this: It is the most wonderful thing in the world to an adoptive parent when others realize that you do indeed love your adopted child every single bit as much as you love or would have loved your biological children. There is this underlying assumption with many people, good people, that adoption is somehow lesser than biology. This is SO ( and I cannot stress this enough) NOT TRUE. Though there is always some sort of brokeness surrounding adoption, either on the side of the child or on the side of the parents or both, adoption itself is redemptive. It is NOT charity or an act of humanitarianism. It IS just one of the beautiful ways that God makes families, and it is wonderful when others realize this. so, with that in mind, here are three great ways to love on a waiting family...first, realize that waiting families are excited! Congratulate them and celebrate with them! Tell them how happy you are for their family, ask lots of questions and be super interested, resisting the urge to yawn and rub your eyes when they use words like "homestudy", "dossier" and "USCIS". Secondly, recognize that at some point it is likely that a waiting family will be a grieving family. Issues like infertility or loss of a child or pregnancy (on the adoptive parents side) and death of parents, poverty, and illness (on the side of the child being placed) are just a few contributing sources of grief, and these subjects need to be handled with dignity and respect. Please be kind to a grieving adoptive mother who is just waiting to bring her child home, do not be scared when she bursts into tears when you ask her how she is doing; just give her a hug, tell her you know that waiting must be so hard, and later maybe send her a note with a Starbucks card in it, or even better, leave a bottle of wine on her doorstep...she needs it. Third, most waiting families are broke. Adoption is incredibly expensive, ranging from $20k to $40k+. Most families who are adopting have drained savings accounts and cashed in every stock and bond they could find, they've applied for grants and loans and then, they are pushed into the challenging world of fundraising. If you see an adoptive family who is working to raise money to bring their child home, believe me, they need the money. Fundraising is one of the most humbling things anybody can do, it says, " we are looking to do this thing, and we cannot afford it on our own, and now everybody knows we cannot afford to do it on our own ". So if you see a family peddling anything from puzzle pieces to cake pops to t-shirts, be generous. Buy whatever they're selling and pay double...they will be eternally grateful. 

Q: How has adopting Ruby most profoundly changed you?

A: Ruby's life And introduction into our family has changed me in more ways than I can even begin to count. Going through the process of bringing her home left us totally and utterly and helplessly at the mercy of our Heavenly Father. Every penny that was needed along the way; waiting with baited breath to receive the referral of the child who would be ours; every moment of knowing that I was mother to a daughter who was a half a world away; each of these wrecked my control freak self. I have never seen God work in such profound ways as He did during the year that we were waiting, the year where we had no choice but to get out of the way and let Him work. When the year ended, He had bestowed upon our family the gift who is Ruby. Because I am so utterly in love with her, I am reminded of how very loved I am by God, the Father who adopted crummy little me into His family. I know this sounds a lot like your typical 'Christian speak', but (as Jen Hatmaker would say) because I am a recovering legalistic, this is a new concept to me, even after being in the church for 30 odd years. The realization that I was chosen by God, am dearly and perfectly loved by Him, and that nothing I can ever do will change that, has been the biggest change of all. I love that He has used my daughter to teach me this, every day that she is mine reminds me that I am His. I am so grateful. 

Order the book HERE!  

In addition, here a what a few (but not certainly ALL) of Christina's friends had to say about her!

 With the story "Mommy's Heart Went POP!", Christina successfully captures the numerous emotions involved in an adoption journey. Yes, this comes in part from her own wait for her daughter, Ruby, but the way Christina identifies with these feelings goes deeper than that. Her compassionate nature would be hard to miss by anyone who has the chance to be around her. Christina loves Jesus and cares deeply. She pours herself into the lives of others, and in doing so, shares in their joys and their pain in such an intense way. I am so thankful that Christina was able to take that intensity of life experience and mold it into a beautiful story of love.

~Alanna

What the many readers of Mommy's Heart Went POP! do not, regrettably, get to experience is hearing the author's audible voice. A natural born story-teller, Christina's voice has a poetry of it's own. With a sometimes breathless enthusiasm creeping into her soft, elegant tone - hearing her tell the story of when Myles came home, or her own daughter Ruby, makes the listener lean forward in anticipation. This same quality imbues the book she wrote - a story told straight from her heart, but in a particularly lovely, lyrical way that enraptures children and grown-up children alike.

~Heather

Christina walked me through the long, lonely heart-pregnancy of our son Myles. She prayed and waited and prayed some more: with me and for him to come home from Rwanda. Shortly after Myles came home, Christina said she had a written a little story for us to share with him someday. Knowing that we had searched for childrens books that depicted our family (very white with a very brown baby), and had come out the other side empty handed, she wanted to write a story helping him understand the depth of our longing for him. Those are the words of "Mommy's Heart Went POP!"

~Laurel