An Open Letter To Leaders in Impossible Places

Hello, kind reader (all four of you!)

The words of this letter have been floating around my overly crowded head for some time. I finally made time to pin them down, sort them out and send them in letter form to the people who are tasked with the impossible: making most people satisfied. It is a cruel and thankless world out there, and anytime the words given to me can assist in even the most minuscule way, I am grateful to share them. This could probably be sent to almost any school board, anywhere...and if you feel led to customize it to make it your own and share with yours, feel free.

Peace to you,

J.

August 25, 2021

 

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a resident of Conestoga Valley School District, mom of five children who are currently at all levels of education offered therewithin and am writing to say it has been hard being human, mostly always, but never more than these past many months.

The last word, the having of it, is seemingly one of the greatest desires of every one of my five amazing and strong-willed children. Our family structure was Divinely designed to include our children being born within three years of each other, paving the way for a very active, spirited dynamic in which I am daily (multiple times daily, really) called to act as judge, referee, and negotiator. It is almost never that, in any of those roles, I make a call in which everyone is pleased. In fact, before I’m even involved, most everyone involved in any situation has already assumed their normal positions of self-defense and have pigeon-holed the different personalities to their typical reactions. There are moments when I have two (or more) young people passionately demanding that it is THEIR side of the story/cause/plight/fight/debate which is the accurate one and that it would be ludicrous for me to believe the other side. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

All this to say, the dynamics in the fallout of a worldwide pandemic played out in a school district (or anywhere, including text threads and Instagram stories) are not completely unfamiliar to me. I have those in my life who I love who have been dramatically affected by Covid and whose experience on the front lines of medical care has caused deep respect for the damage it can do. I have those in my life who I love who believe the measures put in place are a means of government control and pharmaceutical gain. I have those I love who praised the Heavens the day a vaccine was made available to them and those who would not near that needle, even on a cold day in Hell. I also have a whole lot of people who find themselves somewhere between the parameters depicted above. It has become, sadly, increasingly easy to place each other to one side or the other, forgetting that beneath every word that comes out of our mouths are a myriad of experiences, family histories, and fears that make up a person’s perspective. It is much easier to lump another human in the prefabricated pigeon-holes passionately fueled by media (social and otherwise) and let anger fume and fester.

Meanwhile, our children are watching. Future leaders are taking note without lifting a pencil. They’ll remember how their parents reacted to a dark moment in history.

I am not writing to promote the wearing of masks or not, the need for vaccination or not or any of these topics that make me want to curl in a fetal position and listen to Christmas music when I hear (or more likely read) respectable adults losing their minds over it. My family and I had a “lovely” three-week COVID experience in April. Seven positive COVID tests now grace our medical records and I thank God that for my children (certainly not the case for all), the experience was completely unremarkable and that their greatest health risk was having their mother lose her mind in her role as an interim (at-home) School Principal. I have respect for the fact that this is a virus that has upended the lives of so many people and I also choose not to live in fear of COVID for my children as much as I do the children of parents who are so angry with EITHER SIDE of this (or other) issue their children are internalizing it and mimicking the animosity to those around them.

As I often tell my children when I’m in the midst or after delivering a verdict in any given situation, “I could be wrong. I am only human. I’m doing the best with what I know”. This is true for anyone making a judgment call in this current culture.

As we continue to navigate the nuances, nuisances and nasty threats of COVID, may we first remember to take a deep breath and as decisions are made by leaders who never asked to be handed this crisis, may we the first judge our own response and assumptions, listen with intent, and show our children what it looks like to offer principled yet grace-filled and empathetic responses in a world where it feels impossible to make a decision that satisfies the wishes and quells the fears of all sides.

My thanks to the Board of Directors and Dr. Zuilkoski for doing the best with what they know. I might not always agree with the specifics, but I appreciate all that our administration and staff are doing to create as positive and normal a year as they can for each and every student.

 

Sincerely,

Jeane’