Little Fires
Imagine with me if you will or want to:
A big, beautiful stretch of land. People who have inhabited it for a relatively short amount of time have set up camps. They used to be less definitive, but now there are quite obviously two, with a third in the middle (but you have to look close).
On one side of the horizon, a group of people has amassed around a large fire, seemingly very concerned and concerted in their joint efforts to make certain is as robust and resilient as it can be, not afraid to go to unconventional measure to make it loom larger.
On the other side of the horizon, another group are also feverishly working together to throw in more kindling, hefting heavy logs and liberally dousing ethenol in hopes their well-established fire will prevail the other.
There is a somewhat disoriented crowd in the middle, equipped with all the elements required to build their own fire, but they are feeling a little paralyzed and possibly intimidated by the sheer strength of the fires on either side of them. What's interesting, they note, it is not unusual to see a woman or man from one fire dart to the other, in order to aid another when they need a ride to the doctor, or take them a meal when they have a baby or lend them a stick of butter when they are in a cake making bind. Otherwise, the groups stay mostly to themselves, high-fiving each other when a particularly potent piece of kindling creates an emphatic advance to their fire.
The group on the left considers the smoke from the fire on the right to be tinged with the aura of self-centered, close-minded and antiquated kindling of the hell and brimstone variety. They can't stand the smell and hope to extinguish it.
The group on the right considers the smoke from the fire on the left heavy-laden with traces of kindling composed of moral decay, reckless irresponsibility and the destruction of freedom. They fear the smell and rally their troops to stand against it.
The group in the middle grows increasingly nervous, anxious, their stomach twisting into knots as the smoke from either side overwhelms their ability to breathe. "To which side should I go to?", they wonder. Many of these folks in the middle deeply love and are dearly loved by those on either side and get nervous or defensive when they feel commanded to change or shame or vilify one or the other. They know there is so much more to any one of us than the ring of fire they are around. They have been the ones to hold their hand when a diagnosis is given, to cry with them when their marriage disintegrated and to listen carefully when a general injustice became personal. It does not matter what smoke they smell of, the virtues and vices they struggle with are human ones and as it turns out, it does not matter where one stands, the internal struggles and joys look a lot the same. It just takes intention to stop and remember with smoke so thick that even on a clear day, it is impossible to see the internal workings of a human based on their outside and against the caricature the culture paints of those who stand by them.
Don't be fooled. It is not that the ones in the middle have no grit or conviction. They too desire liberty and justice for all and were willing to add their part to either fire as needed and at times, the need was great and getting singed by the flame is sometimes proof of care to those on fire themselves. The problem was, they were uncomfortable staking out in one place because they knew two things:
1. There was a whole lot of hope and hurt around both fires. Not all was toxic on either side and one could find some wise, hopeful solutions for the concerns that threatened a whole-hearted life in the midst of either. Both are guilting of using fear as a fire starter (and maintainer).
2. They, the middle ones, are invested but not permanent dwellers. It was easy to forget their True Place of Belonging is not around either fire ring. While from time to time they have stepped up to either blaze to contribute out of a conviction of the moment, they do not feel comfortable staking their tent there, even as the camaraderie feels strong and sure. They were sojourners, headed to a land of Light and Goodness and it was their hope to let their lives cast off a bit of a preview of what it might feel like to live in such a place.
And so...
They stayed in the middle. They built and tended to their own little fires in order to burn up their worries, their cares, their fears of having to keep a distance from either side, casting it all up to the One who holds the entire landscape (seen and unseen) in hands bigger than the Universe. The little fires not only served to burn off their own worry but to offer solace to whoever came along (from either direction) and needed a safe place to regroup and remove themselves from the intensity of the heat. They sat around their little fires, inviting others to join, leaning in and listening first, constantly conferring with the One who is Wisdom to sift through what was heard. Some called it spineless, but they found strength and purpose at staying in the middle. If an ariel view were permitted, it might appear that all these little fires between the two big ones created a cord that kept the land from completely going up in flames.
Hi.
I didn't want to write this, but I felt prompted to enough that it felt disobedient not to. To those who might not have caught the reference, I am a Jesus-follower who believes in His way and how He points to a Kingdom that is not only to come (our True Home), but a Kingdom that here and and now. We, His followers, are the "here and now" and I'm afraid I haven't been a very accurate representation, even right this moment. I am totally in need of and a daily recipient God's grace and strength to be a decent, albeit distorted, reflection of His way. If any of my words have any meaning or impact, I take no credit. I'm simply typing out imperfect dictation.
IF you feel "in the middle" as I do, I simply want to metaphorically rub your back and say "it's ok". I get it. Take a few deep breaths. You're not the only one who gets nervous when those who deeply love are deeply committed to either fire. Somedays, it would be really nice just to go back to being completely enveloped by one camp or another, as there are many we deeply love in the midst. Take heart, middle dweller. Our God is not nervous, He is not wringing His hands and holding his breath, hoping the next headline magnifies His message. He's got a better-than-bird's-eye-view and this is just a small slice of a big history He's been working on for a long time (to our way of thinking).
IF you or someone you love camped by a big fire, this does not make them wrong/bad/out of step nor does it make you more righteous for being in the middle. God does need and use people close to either fire. They are not to be demonized, as He created loves them and could have very likely led them to that place. Sometimes, He needs people close to the center to achieve His purposes. Because of smoke that ALWAYS clouds our vision, we cannot be the judge of jury of anyone but ourselves. We can trust that if He has someone in the place He wants them and it doesn't seem right to us, that doesn't make them wrong. It is not the proximity to the fire that makes it dangerous, but the belief that it is the most all-consuming and important element for bringing a preview of God's Kingdom to the here-and-now.
BACK to being in the middle: If you're tending your little fire and feel a bit insecure and politically homeless as you watch the shared passion pulling and fueling people together, here are three resources I cannot recommend highly enough. One of the authors is long gone to our True Home-a teacher in the league of CS Lewis and NT Wright who wrote the book I value most second to the Bible, the other is an incredibly smart young woman who was recently featured in the New York Times (this book is both smart and engaging!) and the third is a man in Nashville who hasn't hid his struggles with depression and performance fatigue as he humbly shepards a church family in Nashville, Tennessee. I have tremendous respect for all three.
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
Jeane'
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