Missing Out.
Hunched up in my cotton Holly Hobbie jammies, I would sit by my bedroom door listening to the hum of conversation with the occasional swells of uproarious laughter coming from the dining room where my parents and their friends were playing Rook. As I tucked myself back into bed, I wished myself to be an adult with all it's privileges of staying up late and having fun while doing it. I was missing out on all the fun.
***
This last week, as I had the Today Show playing as white noise during the morning, the same sensation from every year around this time snuck up on me yet again. "Here's the perfect dip/dessert/dip/drink/dip to bring to your big Super Bowl Party!!". Except there is no Super Bowl party I have either planned nor invites crowding my inbox. I had to Google who is playing, could care less about overpaid people passing a tiny brown ball and haven't seen a half time show I like since the one with Whitney Houston....and yet, somehow every single year I feel like ours is the only family missing out on a big national holiday in which lively dip-and-wing parties are held in every home with the exception of ours. In my imagination, everyone else is having a merry old time whilst eating allllll the dips while we're nibbling alone on plain chips.
***
I flipped through the pictures on Instagram, and what seemed like women from every social circle I've ever brushed arms with was in attendance of a nation-wide conference, one that is God-inspired with prolific speakers sharing via satellite and local women making a difference sharing in each location. It looked cozy, inviting and life-changing. I had every opportunity to go, but to be perfectly honest, conferences are just not something I have ever itched to go to. I don't know why, they just aren't. But still, when I see all these wonderful women speaking and then see scores of women I know coming together in one place, I am tempted to feel I have missed out on an irreplaceable, powerful moment which has left me in the dust of a movement.
***
My inbox held and invitation to another conference, this one for those interested in communications, particularly speaking and writing. It will be held in the summer and for seven hundred dollars, I could be promised a meeting with a publisher and sign up for valuable classes. Even with my natural resistance towards such things, I filled out the entire application up until payment. And then I clicked to close my browser. I wondered if I was to let this go, if I would be missing out on a pivotal moment in my development. Maybe. And maybe not.
***
Here's the thing about missing out : Whenever I concentrate on what I think I MIGHT BE missing out on, I actually DO miss out on what is right in front of me. For example, tonight I invited the children to create their own Super Bowl party here at home. They are thrilled. There is a handwritten banner hanging on our wall, by way painters tape, with "Go Broncko's" spelled out in marker (bless us our little sports illiterate hearts). Annie and I are about to make a speed run to the dollar store for balloons and my husband and sons are about to put their "secret recipe wings" in the oven. And I will be able to watch the commercials in my pajama's without having to make conversation with anyone. It's going to be GREAT! We are even making dip, because we have a tub of sour cream and onion soup mix and aren't afraid to combine the two. It's going to be CRAY-CRAY here!
Also, whenever I feel that I MUST be at something in order to get marching orders/inspiration/direction from God, I majorly narrow my view of Him. Certainly he uses events and speakers and books and expert advise to prompt changes and activity in our lives. I would be wise to consider opportunities when they come (even if reluctant to jump in). Yet He is certainly not limited to the ways which seem prevalent and pre-ordained in today's culture. When I draw near, stay close, lean in to listen to what our Father has to say, day in and day out, I can rest in knowing I will not miss a thing.
***
This last week, as I had the Today Show playing as white noise during the morning, the same sensation from every year around this time snuck up on me yet again. "Here's the perfect dip/dessert/dip/drink/dip to bring to your big Super Bowl Party!!". Except there is no Super Bowl party I have either planned nor invites crowding my inbox. I had to Google who is playing, could care less about overpaid people passing a tiny brown ball and haven't seen a half time show I like since the one with Whitney Houston....and yet, somehow every single year I feel like ours is the only family missing out on a big national holiday in which lively dip-and-wing parties are held in every home with the exception of ours. In my imagination, everyone else is having a merry old time whilst eating allllll the dips while we're nibbling alone on plain chips.
***
I flipped through the pictures on Instagram, and what seemed like women from every social circle I've ever brushed arms with was in attendance of a nation-wide conference, one that is God-inspired with prolific speakers sharing via satellite and local women making a difference sharing in each location. It looked cozy, inviting and life-changing. I had every opportunity to go, but to be perfectly honest, conferences are just not something I have ever itched to go to. I don't know why, they just aren't. But still, when I see all these wonderful women speaking and then see scores of women I know coming together in one place, I am tempted to feel I have missed out on an irreplaceable, powerful moment which has left me in the dust of a movement.
***
My inbox held and invitation to another conference, this one for those interested in communications, particularly speaking and writing. It will be held in the summer and for seven hundred dollars, I could be promised a meeting with a publisher and sign up for valuable classes. Even with my natural resistance towards such things, I filled out the entire application up until payment. And then I clicked to close my browser. I wondered if I was to let this go, if I would be missing out on a pivotal moment in my development. Maybe. And maybe not.
***
Here's the thing about missing out : Whenever I concentrate on what I think I MIGHT BE missing out on, I actually DO miss out on what is right in front of me. For example, tonight I invited the children to create their own Super Bowl party here at home. They are thrilled. There is a handwritten banner hanging on our wall, by way painters tape, with "Go Broncko's" spelled out in marker (bless us our little sports illiterate hearts). Annie and I are about to make a speed run to the dollar store for balloons and my husband and sons are about to put their "secret recipe wings" in the oven. And I will be able to watch the commercials in my pajama's without having to make conversation with anyone. It's going to be GREAT! We are even making dip, because we have a tub of sour cream and onion soup mix and aren't afraid to combine the two. It's going to be CRAY-CRAY here!
Also, whenever I feel that I MUST be at something in order to get marching orders/inspiration/direction from God, I majorly narrow my view of Him. Certainly he uses events and speakers and books and expert advise to prompt changes and activity in our lives. I would be wise to consider opportunities when they come (even if reluctant to jump in). Yet He is certainly not limited to the ways which seem prevalent and pre-ordained in today's culture. When I draw near, stay close, lean in to listen to what our Father has to say, day in and day out, I can rest in knowing I will not miss a thing.
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