Hearts of the Little and the Large

At this time of year, when we as parental beacons of restraint in a world of flagrant consumerism, raising awareness to the true meaning of the season, there are those whose  offspring surprise with their natural tendencies to give rather than receive. We "ooohhh" and we "ahhh" and we encourage their generous hearts. It is hard, in such a moment of discovered pure-bigheartedness, not to indulge in just the teensiest bit of a mental self-congratulatory pat-on-the-back for the parental influence that must have been a contributing factor to Bobby's move to give all his toys to the tot who has not. Nay, we would never, ever, ever SAY we had anything to do with it, but we won't argue too forcefully when we are praised for our children's sacrifices.

 

I write from experience. Not terribly much experience, mind you, but there have been those moments with a child here or there in which I feel my heart nod with an ever-so-subtle smuggy smirk of satisfaction. "Well done, Mama. Well. Done."

***

Today was our first foray into our elementary school's "Holiday Gift Shop", where the children could take a bit of money in and shop among cheap inexpensive items for designated family members. The very patient parent volunteers assist the children in their selections and the wrapping of them. They are told to hide their presents and give them to the desired recipients at Christmas. 

Since we had two shoppers today, and only $10 cash on hand, they were each given $5 and a very short list of members to buy for. They were excited to participate and off they went, little white envelopes stuck beside their snack baggies filled with stale pretzel sticks I found in the back of the pantry.

At the pick up line after their astonishingly brief "half day", the son and daughter come bursting in the van, asking their normal "Are we doing anything FUN today?" (and I gave them my usual "No, darlings, just the normal go home and pick out the dirt between our toes after we eat dry rice for lunch!"). It was then that my boy announces loudly:

"Welp! I sure got myself a nice Christmas present today!"

"Wait. You bought YOURSELF a present??"

"Yep! Don't worry, mom, I got a little something else for you too."

And sure enough,out of his backpack he pulls out a tiny wrapped present. It's hard to see on my phone-quality picture, but you might be able to make out the

To: Chris

From: Chris

 

No doubt THAT parent volunteer is gonna be looking ME up to see if I would be interested in heading up the "The Giving Tree" Toy Drive next year. Maybe I should just seek her out and give her my information to expidite the process.

To further illuminate the breadth of the self-focused state of my children's Christmas "spirit", in a text conversation with my next door neighbor (who volunteered there today, and helped my daughter) in which I shared of Christopher self-gift, she shared:

"Aw! Annie wanted to do the very same thing, but I told her she was to buy for her FAMILY, so the ring she wanted for herself is now for her little sister".

Alrighty, then. This would explain the little huff and eye roll when she handed me a wrapped little square box. Where, oh, where have we gone wrong? I felt nary a pat on my back {just a kick in my ars}.

The thing is, if I'm honest, I would have done the EXACT SAME THING when I was his age.

Or at my age. 

This past Tuesday, to be specific. 

At Starbucks. 

When I bought a Christmas CD to send to my sister.

 And at the last minute

threw one in 

for me.

***

The moral of my not-so-heartwarming story?

Be patient with your child. They might be smaller (and less complicated) in scale, 

but the struggles of their hearts are just the same as your own.

 We are not in a contest in which 

we hold up our own or our children's best moment's for the world to admire, 

although it's easy to think we have to be. The truth is, we all struggle more than we shine.

As a good man I live with often says "We are all in this together". Indeed, we are.

 Grace.

Grace.

Grace...

...For the hearts of the little and the large.